Day 2: Overcoming

One of the greatest obstacles I make for myself is comparing myself to other people. Whether it is in writing, or parenting, or photography or being a christian. I look at other people and wonder how they can do so well, have it all together, have the strength and energy and motivation to get so much done, and here I am feeling like I am doing nothing at all. It's a daily reminder to tell myself, I am not them. It's okay for me to go my own way at my own pace because it's not about them. Let's face it,  it's not even about me. On any given day, everything I accomplish, everything I do or say or have, is, or, SHOULD be, about Him. 
   Psalm 155:1 says "Not to us, O LORD, not to us, but to your name give glory, for the sake of your steadfast love and your faithfulness!"
When I wake up each morning it's not because of my own power. It's because He has given me a new day to live. A brand new start. Every person in this world, wakes up not by their own might or strength. For me that's a good thing, because I hate mornings and if it were up to me they'd start at noon lol.
It becomes draining, to compare yourself to other people, yet, it is something I don't even realize I am doing most of the time. It's a horrible habit I m trying to break.
 James 1:17 says "Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow."
If we learn to understand the word "good", we know that it doesn't mean good in our terms but in His. And that His faithfulness is unwavering despite our worry and our mistrust.  
 And if Matthew 6:26 is right ""Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they?", we should know that He gives us what is good out of His love for us.  

 All comparing seems to do is cause us to worry. We worry about not being good enough, yet it is nothing we can do anyways. We worry about what others think, being accepted. When the only acceptance that matters, we already have, we just don't accept it because we're too busy worrying about being good enough, see the cycle? 

So today, I will not worry. Today, I will not compare. I am no better than others, and I don't want to be.

Day One; Blocked and a new start

                 I used to write. Alot. Mostly diary and letters to people who pissed me off that never got finished and never got sent. I did vlogs and youtube videos, and I did some blogging online, mostly after I left Yahoo360 and joined the ranks of the facebook junkies. I haven't written in years. Then I came across this blog from someone on my friends list, talking about 31 days and I thought even if I had nothing to say and noone read and noone cared,  it might help me get started again, so I will give it a try. I don't have a topic. It's just me. Random ramblings of whatever's rolling around inside my head, and maybe I'll sift thru it later and come up with something tangible I can put to a good use.
                 So, here I am. Recently quit my job to stay at home and be a visible presence for my daughter, if and when she decided she wants or needs me. Those days get less and less now that she is 16. But I am still determined to be here just in case. I will break the cycle of my family, where parents abandon or lose their kids. If I never have one thing to leave behind except this, it will be that I am here. She will always have her mother to come home to, to talk to, to ask for help. I never had my mother to count on, and my father didn't exist. That will never happen for my girl. At least in this one thing, I know I made a difference and I changed a long standing history in our family chain.
                 There are plenty of worse things I could be wasting my time on, and I've done almost all of them at one point or another in my life. So here I was blocked, and here I am facing not one but two new starts. I was supposed to move from 3/4 full time to part time but it became casual, and I was fine with that, until I was paid out and that was the end of my job completely. But I'm not worried, it's a blessing in disguise really.  Freeing up some time to write more again and to be there for my girl. Little things, that most people overlook. Like being able to drive her to youth group and bible study so she doesn't have to take the bus 2 hours one way. Like being able to connect with friends that I haven't seen in years even though we live in the same city simply because our schedules clashed and well, busy lives happen. Like being able to finally attend a small group bible study with my church after 6 years of crappy attendance. It's amazing all the things I miss out on because I can't manage my time, at least compared to some people. I look at some people, who have careers and 3 kids, and volunteer, workout, and are always on the go, and I wonder, how DO they do it? I can barely get my butt out of bed or handle part time work and I don't do much around the house, I don't have a showhome, and I'm not Suzy homemaker baking pies and doing charity drives once a month. To me an accomplished day right now is putting on pants.
                     Which reminds me, it is ow well after 10 am and I need to go get dressed now...

2 Degrees

   

So just a little blurb to let you know I am still around. I know I haven't blogged much in a long time, and keep hoping to do more; I seem to have tons of great ideas, but never seem to be able to make the time to sit down and put them down together. Most times, my brain is so scattered and I am unable to think clearly enough to collect the thoughts running through my mind. But today I will try as I had a thought I wanted to share.
I checked the weather this morning and it was plus 2 degrees. For those on other systems, that is in celcius.
After a run of extreme cold, plus 2 feels like heaven. It feels like spring. We undo layers, and open the top button on our coats, take off our scarves and hats or headbands. This is February, where any temperatures above -15 are welcomed with open arms.
But if it were say, September. After a short warm summer and just barely having time to get used to 20 degrees, plus 2 feels like winter again. On goes the layers, we turn on the heat on our homes.
2 degrees feels much colder in September than it does in February. But 2 degrees is 2 degrees.  The temperature doesn't change, our perception of it does. Plus 2 will always be plus 2.
And I think of our lives as christians. How we can be cold or hot, how we can be lukewarm.
If we aren't growing closer to God every day and learning more, we are lukewarm. We are stagnant. We are 2 degrees. So the question is, are we bringing cold to the warmth? In a church on fire for God, will our 2 degrees stay at 2 degrees and cool the fire? Or are we heating up the cold? Are we bringing that fire to a world that is cold, detached, far from God?
I don't know about you, but I can't stand being cold. Perhaps it's time to turn up the heat. :P

 I recently read a post about a woman who wrote how proud she was to be an escort for an abortion clinic. Over 700 supporters, and only 4 who stood ground against what they call prochoice, and anyone who disagrees is branded a hater. So many blind and lost confused people out there. So many angry bitter women too. It is a sad situation that in the states they feel the need to have protection for these women walking into a clinic, but no protection for the child they wish to end the life of. What a backwards twisted society if you ask me. There was talk about free will and having a choice. But having free will to choose doesn't mean you are making the right choice. Scripture speaks of things being  permissable but not profitable.Just because the law says you can doesn't mean it is right or just or moral. Everyone is free to make mistakes and hate and hurt others as well as do good.  Children are a blessing that many don't have the option of, and never will. Far as I know, noone who has ever decided against aborting their child after first intending to do so and kept their child, has ever regretted it. There's a reason for that. Or am I completely alone in this thought? The reality is that everyone does have a choice. You can choose good, or you can choose evil.  

 And she said hearing her unborn baby’s heartbeat “was the most beautiful music I ever heard in my life.”~~ Beyonce Knowles
 http://liveactionnews.org/unborn-childs-heartbeat-the-most-beautiful-music-says-beyonce/ 

Let's make it clear, Deuteronomy 30 speaks of this. Verse 19 says “Today I have given you the choice between life and death, between blessings and curses. Now I call on heaven and earth to witness the choice you make. Oh, that you would choose life, so that you and your descendants might live!" Read the whole chapter and see, THIS is the TRUTH about real pro choice from a biblical perspective.
  

Short note for tonight

I might find the energy to write something if substance this week. But for now , who needs makeup when you have an app that can turn you into a cat? ; p