Day One; Blocked and a new start

                 I used to write. Alot. Mostly diary and letters to people who pissed me off that never got finished and never got sent. I did vlogs and youtube videos, and I did some blogging online, mostly after I left Yahoo360 and joined the ranks of the facebook junkies. I haven't written in years. Then I came across this blog from someone on my friends list, talking about 31 days and I thought even if I had nothing to say and noone read and noone cared,  it might help me get started again, so I will give it a try. I don't have a topic. It's just me. Random ramblings of whatever's rolling around inside my head, and maybe I'll sift thru it later and come up with something tangible I can put to a good use.
                 So, here I am. Recently quit my job to stay at home and be a visible presence for my daughter, if and when she decided she wants or needs me. Those days get less and less now that she is 16. But I am still determined to be here just in case. I will break the cycle of my family, where parents abandon or lose their kids. If I never have one thing to leave behind except this, it will be that I am here. She will always have her mother to come home to, to talk to, to ask for help. I never had my mother to count on, and my father didn't exist. That will never happen for my girl. At least in this one thing, I know I made a difference and I changed a long standing history in our family chain.
                 There are plenty of worse things I could be wasting my time on, and I've done almost all of them at one point or another in my life. So here I was blocked, and here I am facing not one but two new starts. I was supposed to move from 3/4 full time to part time but it became casual, and I was fine with that, until I was paid out and that was the end of my job completely. But I'm not worried, it's a blessing in disguise really.  Freeing up some time to write more again and to be there for my girl. Little things, that most people overlook. Like being able to drive her to youth group and bible study so she doesn't have to take the bus 2 hours one way. Like being able to connect with friends that I haven't seen in years even though we live in the same city simply because our schedules clashed and well, busy lives happen. Like being able to finally attend a small group bible study with my church after 6 years of crappy attendance. It's amazing all the things I miss out on because I can't manage my time, at least compared to some people. I look at some people, who have careers and 3 kids, and volunteer, workout, and are always on the go, and I wonder, how DO they do it? I can barely get my butt out of bed or handle part time work and I don't do much around the house, I don't have a showhome, and I'm not Suzy homemaker baking pies and doing charity drives once a month. To me an accomplished day right now is putting on pants.
                     Which reminds me, it is ow well after 10 am and I need to go get dressed now...